Tales of a vagrant ant

Today was a pretty decent day, I guess…
Woke up much later than I wanted… about 12:15 or so in the afternoon? Ugh, I’ve got to stop the stupid habit of going to bed so late… I’ve been trying to figure out what it is exactly that keeps me up late… During the night when I’m on the computer, I have a sense of, “I’ll just finish doing this”, and I’ll just keep doing things until next thing you know, it’ll be like 3 or 4am… just argh.. I dunno what it is… I think I just feel like I really don’t feel like I have anything to wake up for, being unemployed and living at my parents… so I don’t. But it’s fucking annoying, so I’ve decided to set a schedule to instigate some structure into my life. No more of this drifting through the days business.
Anyways, I had driving lessons in the afternoon… Learning stick shift, so that I can free myself from my house.. muhahaha. I’m making some progress… It’s going to just be a matter of practicing, and getting comfortable with it.
Then I went to see a film playing on the vancouver international film festival. Saw Our Daily Bread, which essentially shows you how the food that you eat gets to your plate. A really powerful documentary that shows one of the things that I hate most about our “industrialized” society.
Vegetables, Nuts, Grains, Pork, Beef, Chicken, Fish… It was really quite disturbing, and really graphic in some scenes… I stared death in the eye, as I watched as a cow was killed, butchered, and packaged, right before my eyes.
My sister said it reminded her of War of the Worlds, in this one scene where chickens were getting sucked onto this conveyer belt, and onto a set of boxes for transport. This wordless documentary showed people in the thrall of this insane agricultural system humans have created in order to sustain our overpopulation, and our economy. I had a hard enough time watching a minute of some of these people’s jobs, let alone trying to imagine doing a job like that day in, day out, for a year? two years? even ten? I don’t know how I wouldn’t lose hope, or become desensitized from the world. Providing food to the world is fucking hard work… I worked in a urban community garden, and the total food I grew wouldn’t last me a week, I think. So as much as I hate industrial agriculture, and its mechanical insanity, it’s going to be such a hard battle trying to switch to something that is less…. soulsucking. For the most part, people are so utterly disconnected from where their food comes from, it’s ridiculous. Case in point: After the movie, and a short visit to Chapters, My sister and I went to have hot pot with my parents and a business client, where we proceeded to eat many of the things featured in the film we just watched. Part of me felt a bit strange about it, and silently, I thanked the animals and plants for giving their lives for my dinner. :S
At Chapters, I bought the Far Side a-page-a-day desk calendar, and this book at chapters: Getting to Maybe- How the World is Changed. It looks pretty inspriring, and it’s kind of something I need right now… just that boost to keep me positive, amidst the craziness happening in the world today.
/end rant

Something else that keeps me sane and to lighten up this post:

Yesss, flying down a slide into a raft!